LET'S TALK ABOUT LOVE...

The heart is hopelessly dark and deceitful, a puzzle that no one can figure out. But I, God, search the heart and examine the mind. I get to the heart of the human. I get to the root of things. I treat them as they really are, not as they pretend to be. (Jeremiah 17:9–10 MSG).

Let’s have an open and honest conversation.

If you know me, you know I love love. Yes, love is beautiful. God, who is love, is inherently good, and everything that comes from Him is good too. Who doesn’t like good things, right?

Lately, though, I’ve been thinking about what love means to me and how my understanding of it has shaped my expectations in relationships—not just romantic ones.

Although when it comes to romantic relationships, the Holy Spirit has been working on my heart. I’ve been reflecting deeply on what I seem to desire. Let's go there, shall we?

After coming out of a relationship I genuinely thought would last forever, finding my footing again was tough. I thought I’d never want to be in a romantic relationship again (who hasn’t felt that way after a heartbreak?).

But, as it turns out, I found myself liking a friend of mine. Yes, me—the one who swore off love! Rather interestingly, at some points, I was dissapointed in myself for even wanting to move on. (This heart err..) Well, I decided to pause and ask myself why I liked this guy.

Now, don’t get me wrong—it’s not bad to love someone or want to pursue a romantic relationship. But bear in mind, the Bible tells us the heart can be deceitful. It also says the heart of man is desperately wicked.

Honestly, if it weren’t for God’s grace, you and I would be one step away from doing things we’d never imagine. We don't end up doing those things not because we’re careful; but rather God in His mercy, keeps us from stumbling.

So as I searched my heart, I realized my motives for wanting to pursue this relationship were not right. Coming to terms with this truth was a humbling process because prior to this revelation, I thought I knew what I wanted. But as it turns out, the bible is true and God is no liar.

Now you'd think realizing this made it easy to let go—it didn’t. My mind kept trying to justify my feelings, and I found myself thinking about him more often than I wanted to. I prayed constantly, asking God for the strength to not get ahead of His plan.

He answered and that's the reason for this story. My perspective changed when the Holy Spirit urged me to focus on God as my beloved. In the initial stages I did not understand but kept professing anyways. As weeks turned to months, clarity came alongside. Not in any fancy way. But through a reminder of how unruly the heart could be if we let it wander.

Fellow sojourner, our lives and purposes are so much bigger than any momentary heart flutter. Have you done all that God has asked you to do? If your heart had it's way, you'd enjoy all the pleasures of this world without a care.

So just because it makes you feel good does not mean it's good for you-at least in that moment. Bottomline? Do not trust just anything that comes into your heart. Submit those impressions to God and be patient enough to wait for an answer.

Don’t get me wrong—relationships are good. But there is more to God than using him as a road map to getting all the things we want- or think we want, in life. A sister of mine put it rightly when she said, “You should be obsessed with God right now. He wants your full attention." Don't be obsessed with what he can offer, be obsessed with Him.

There’s more to your life than you can imagine, but first God needs to be the one in charge. When you let Him lead, everything else falls into place.

Times without number we get ahead of him because of our feelings, thoughts or just blindly follow the crowd. I hope this post reminds you that your life does not consist in the abundance of things you have (romantic relationships included!).

Dunsin Oyekan said it rightly, "the value of your life is how much of God you carry." True joy, true satisfaction, true peace is found only in Jesus. Make him the focus, remember to examine your motives and be sure to verify anything you feel with God first! When he says no, trust Him still.

It’s my prayer that you won’t go ahead of God in any area of your life, especially in your romantic relationships. What’s meant for you will be yours. Trust God, ask Him to examine your heart daily (Psalm 139: 23) and wait on Him.

You’ve probably heard it a million times, and it might sound cliché, but it’s not—the best thing you can do is wait on God. It will be worth your while.

Walk in ordered steps.

Written by Ivy Hollys