You need to know this before 2026....

theclarityseries

The moments that bruise us are often the ones that reveal who we really think we are. For most of us, there’s a quiet battle we fight between versions of ourselves we’ve crafted over time.  We usually wear them like badges: “I’m the strong one.” “I’m the reliable one.” “I’m the excellent one.”  These versions we have created blend into our confidence, hide themselves in our achievements, somehow slip into our daily routines, and although they may feel good, some of these identities weren’t born from truth. Rather, they were formed through past praise, expectations, achievements, and sometimes comparisons. 

Imagine working in a space where everyone gives their 10%, and you happen to give 20%. It doesn’t take long before you start calling yourself “the reliable one,” “the strong one,” “the excellent one.” And slowly, you may start worshipping the image you built to survive in that environment.

But there will come a day when something or someone grazes that image you have created in your mind. It may be through a correction, a misunderstanding, or a suggestion. Something that ordinarily should not bruise you, but somehow it will. Because whatever was said or done scraped against the image of yourself you framed in your mind. That is why you must understand that when identity leans too heavily on performance, you are well on a journey to ‘pride-land.’ And from experience, when that self-image is threatened, the initial reaction is to enter into fight mode, and you may get defensive because you are afraid of looking wrong, or you may over-explain yourself in order to preserve the image you have created in your mind.

Just so you don’t get me wrong, here’s a caveat; 

Excellence is beautiful. Recognition is good. Doing well is honourable. Colossians 3:23 calls us to “work with all our heart, as unto the Lord.” And truly, there’s nothing wrong with becoming known as someone who delivers good, trustworthy, excellent work. It’s a gift when people can say, “Oh, I can count on her. She does things well.” The danger occurs when excellence stops being a mark of your character and starts becoming the definition of your identity, because when that happens, who you are will always feel tied to getting everything right, every single time. But, you need to know that:

Any identity built on just perception (be it yours/others) is always one comment away from collapsing.

Being excellent, strong, reliable, smart, you name it, is meant to be a fruit of who you are, not who you are. That version in your mind needs to have a solid foundation so that your self-image does not become a shield that blocks deeper reflection when corrections, mistakes, misunderstandings, and others come. And oh, they will come.

But when they do, I pray they fuel your growth rather than become threats to your value. 

Shall I be honest? This piece may be more for me than it is for you. Great grace to us all....